Things I Did on My 24-Hour Road Trip

1. Schemed to steal corn; yelled "CORN" every time I saw a corn field; looked longingly at a corn maze.

2. Decided to open a speakeasy for Amish people consisting of an internet cafe hidden in the haystacks of unassuming barns. Later, learned that I don't know anything about the Amish.

3. Contemplated becoming Amish. Later, contemplated somehow becoming Iroquoian.

3. Planned to tell Customs that I am bringing one peach into the US. Later, chickened out and hid my peach.

4. Made a semi-effective cooler out of a laundry bag, hotel garbage can and an ice bucket.

5. Drank six cups of coffee; felt sick.

6. Ate a steak with my hands while boyfriend looked on in admiration.

7. Stared at every truck driver until they looked at me.

8. Watched a Kardashian marathon alone in a king-sized bed.

9. Had a conversation in roars with my stuffed lion companion Rupert.

10. Watched boyfriend sleep; felt creepy.

11. Debated Milla Jovovich vs. Marion Cotillard; lost.

12. Debated Aragorn, Heir of Isildur vs. Trent Reznor; lost.

13. Listened to Freebird in its entirety.

14. Went to White Castle; found that it was closed; tried to Harold and Kumar it; failed and ate at Big Boy instead.

15. Napped in a parking lot.

-peach